My Son’s Wedding

I would brand my son’s recently concluded wedding as
‘the wedding of the year.’ Not that it was conducted on
a grand scale or for its lavishness but for us parents, it
was a laborious journey both mentally and physically.
Months of preparation before culminating in the final
day of the wedding itself.

Chinese weddings are always conducted with lots of
rituals and old practices. Practices which sometimes
I wondered if they are relevant to our times. But they
always carried with them implications which are more
ritualistic than being religious. Everything which the
wedding conductor or ‘tai kum’ does or rather asks
you to do or even her recitations, are all for good
luck, good tidings, good fortune etc. All these will
inevitably strike at the core of any person for no one
will want to be against all these good tidings.
Therefore, her words will be followed to the T, no
matter if they seems odd.

One example of this oddness was when the Tai Kum
instructed me to do a few things after the wedding
ceremony. The bride will only be allowed to go back
to her family after 3 days. The new couple will have
to bring with them fruits, 2 packets of groundnuts
and ‘cham liu’ for the bride’s parents. ‘Cham liu’
basically means any prime cuts of roasted meat for
the parents. For me this practice is really not relevant
in this day and age. In ancient times in China, people
of one clan usually live faraway from one another. To
go to the next village you will have to go up
mountains and pass creeks meaning the journey was
far and arduous. Going home for a bride was a big
matter and not often. Bringing with them prime cuts
of meat was a bonus as people of ancient times do
not get to eat meat often only the rich get to eat
meat everyday.

Coming back to the ‘tai kum’s instructions, I will not
stop the new couple from going home. They can go
back anytime and for the ‘cham liu’ I’m sure my
daughter-in-law’s parent would already had enough
of them. Every stall and kopitiam sells them and I’m
sure most workers would also be fed up of this
food. Plus they are cholesterol-full food, not good
for matured people.

To be honest, I found that the new couple has done
a good job for the wedding dinner. Both the march-
in with the girls letting off balloons and the band
singing some good songs were quite impressive.

So, the show’s over now and my life is back to
normalcy and quietness. But strangely I do miss a
bit of the fun,noise and camaraderie with my
relatives during the 3 days of the wedding.
So here’s to the next ‘wedding of the year’ in my
family.